

fallingFall air sneaks through the gap between my jacket and my neck on my way to class, but I just pull my coat tighter and continue walking because there is nothing I can do about it right now.falling
i used to know how to knit but now the metal needles feel cold and foreign between my fingers, like when i try to hold your hand and fall asleep at the same time, but i know it is more comfortable to just lay there beside you and pretend that it is enough.
sometimes i send myself postcards in the mail and
sometimes i try to hold my own hand when i sleep.
i wish yo


yes, oh yesi try so hard to do the right thingyes, oh yes
but somehow i always end up left
i try to follow petals and leaves falling off of the trees in the hopes that they
will land somewhere other than the dirt but i am alwaysalways disappointed and--
i try to explain the things that i say but
you know me too well and i just cant make excuses for the springtime anymore and--
i try to make you understand the same
way i try to catch leaves in a tornado--
but all i've learned by now is that it is
useless
orange blue

Sixth SenseI grabbed another lightbulb today Just to hear your voice in my head And so now I wear the same shirt Hoping to see those same glasses I'm tasting some mint Just in case I have a dream The scent of lemons surrounds me To remember wet hair in my face Now I can feel you in my heart And crawling through my untidy veins But there is one more I haven't mentioned A sense that no one else could know More difficult to explain You wouldn't understand if I triedSixth Sense


This is not a poemi do not want to write about love anymore,This is not a poem
or you, or how you take everything from me
and break it. i don't want to write about all the conversations
i've had with you inside my head, to my shower wall, breathed into my pillow or written in my spanish cuaderno
si yo puedo, yo hablaria totalmente en espanol
porque entonces tu no entiendes y estoy muy
contento con mi secreto, mi idioma misteriosa.
but that would be insane. actually, everything these days is insane. the way you joke around about having sex with me on the weekends, the way i agree.


you couldn't understandour first time was lavender and lemons then i got wiser one of the contusions on my hip looks like a sideways heart why does love have to be so painful?you couldn't understand
the second time was hard candy and raindrops im sorry you had to wash your sheets and go to the grocery store at 3 am but it helps to be prepared
the third time was pillows and porcelain and so you never got to finish because for a moment i forgot how easily i could break now i'm left to deal with the cracks
--
you're my sweetest downfall. i loved you first.
sorry for taking so long to thank you <3
<3
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